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Saturday, November 29, 2008

There's a hole in my heart


Papa Sarasota 1, originally uploaded by KnitterRunner.

A rather long absence, I know...any delusions of making it through November with a post every day went out the window rather quickly. I'm just not an every day sort of blogger, you know?

My life was completely turned upside down this month - I lost my best pal, my Papa, on November 6th. He had a rough year - he beat lung cancer last winter and had various problems throughout this year. His body just didn't have the strength and his mind didn't have the will to fight on.

How I miss him. There is an ache in me that is almost unbearable at times. We - my mom and dad, Sean, Mark, Karen, Mari - feel our loss of him so acutely. I know that time heals but I'm at that point where it feels like nothing will ever me the same again.

I said his eulogy at the funeral. I hope that it was a true tribute to the man who was so much more than a grandfather to me. He was truly a second dad, a babysitter, a playmate, and a best pal - and I was his "little pal" well into my 30s. I am thankful that I had this last year with him, after he and my folks moved to Florida.

The words are just not coming today...I could try to carry on and talk about my knitting (you can get a lot done sitting in a nursing home...) but for today I will just say....

I love you, Papa. Love, your little pal xoxo

4 comments:

m. said...

O Becky, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could give you a hug. Please let me know if you need anything.

adrienne *+*(^_^) +*+ said...

So sorry to hear about your Papa...I know they say time heals.. it does to a degree.. one good thing is.. it turns your sad thoughts into beautiful memories of the times you had together..may the time come quickly for you.. sending lots of <3 and hugs..

J.P. said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. If you need to talk, I am an email away. Big hugs to you.

Daisy mum said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Papa. I hope you are finding some comfort.
God bless you and your family

I tagged you on my site for a Meme
at www.knitfiber.blogspot.com I understand if you don't want to do it. I hope you can find some peace.